Choices for awesome Halloween costumes: Skanks or Douchebags

Characters in my life you will be introduced to today; Pool Shark - have known for years, I went to college with her sister, who although is still a very good friend, is married and has babies, so needless to say Pool Shark and I do more of the weekend hanging out. Plays pool almost religiously. Most of her going outs revolve around whether or not there is a pool table there (if out with pool friends), or a dance floor (if out with me). D - we work together, and honestly do almost everything together.

Last night, I realized that I am no longer the appropriate demographic for bars at Halloween. This has nothing to do with my age, but more with the fact that I am neither a skanky slut, nor a douche bag male, which apparently come out in droves on Halloween. While they are always out, not discriminating between the fan or downtown, the sheer numbers that come out on Halloween is impressive. Last night proved to be no Halloween exception.

The night started off with the typical pre-gaming, music playing, excitement about wanting to get into shenanigans that night. (Shenanigans meaning making out with random guys at bars. But that’s where we, or at least most of my friends, stop. We’re more down with the teasing of these guys than the actual following through, hey, that’s what makes it shenanigans rather than promiscuity.)

When we arrive at our first location, the ever popular on holidays bar Banditos, the place was packed. Banditos, in my ever loyal opinion, had been having some off days in the recent months, so we were pleased to see it packed. The bar was pumping, the music was awesome, people were dancing, it seemed to promise a good time. We head out to the dance follow, requisite bottle of Miller Lite in hand, and started getting our dance on. As we surveyed the situation, I recalled some reasons why Halloween is never as much fun as you think it will be.

What are people doing wearing these giant boxes? I hate these people that wear the giant boxes. What are you dressed up as? And good for you for being creative, but have some respect for the fact you’re heading out to a crowded bar. These boxes jam into people, and make maneuvering difficult, therefore pissing off everyone in the bar as you lumber down the crowded bar and drunkenly dance bumping into everyone. A few years ago someone went as a giant Mona Lisa. To give you some perspective, the face was to size as the person’s actual face, and there was a giant cardboard box around the person that served as the rest of the painting and frame. Clever, I’ll give them that, but it was obnoxious as all get out! Last night a group of drunken college students dressed up as some sort of cars or something. I have no idea what they went as. Maybe Mario Cart? I seem to recall seeing a Luigi, but who knows. That’s the first problem with their costumes. If it’s going to be obnoxious and piss everyone off, make sure they at least get it. Then, they were all trying to dance with each other, but due to the boxes, couldn’t really dance down and dirty as apparently they wanted to do, so they started bouncing off each other, then bouncing off the other people in the bar, basically taking up the same amount of space on the dance floor as the entire cast on Day 1 of The Biggest Loser.

The other observation is that only douche bag guys or guys that get forced to dress up by their girlfriends are out on Halloween. Self-respecting guys either go to a house party where they don’t have to dress up, or stay in and watch football. So, our eligible male pool with which to make out was very limited, as the majority of guys were already with their girlfriends, or were hitting on the skanks, due to their douchebagery. We, having chose to dress sexily, but age appropriate and in real costumes nonetheless, were not the target mark for a Halloween booty call.

We left Banditos and headed down to Baja where Pool Sharks’s friends were hanging out. This was a much welcomed scene. While we love to dance, and there was none of that going on at Baja, the scene was much chiller. We were welcomed by 4 dudes calling out everyone’s outfits as they walked in with social commentary. It was cute, they were cute. When you walk into a bar and someone is there to welcome you, it makes you feel, well, welcomed. Pool Shark perched herself up with her friends while D and I mingled and flirted around the bar. There were the mandatory skanks and DBs, of course, but they were kept in line here by the usual Baja crowd. We ended up staying until about 1. The scene was good, the people were good, while by no means a shenanigan filled night, it was a good time.

Next year, I’m either staying in or having a party. What puzzles me though, is I know for a fact, I’d had fun out on Halloween before. Is this skank and DB a recent development? I find that hard to believe as I was certainly never either, and had a good time out several years running.