Saturday, January 2, 2010

Guide on Dating and Men

So, when I started this blog, the idea was to capture everything I know about dating and men, and regale the readers with some outrageous, some sweet, some happy, and some sad stories of my dating life. Hence the "Single in the River City."

So, what makes me an expert? Nothing really. I've dated for over 12 years, I've read several relationship dating books, I've been in serious relationships, and I've also had very long, very dry spells. I've been on more first dates than I can even remember. I've made some mistakes. I've done things right and it still didn't turn out right. Does this make me an expert? No. But it does provide me with a lot of real life experience that I can share with my readers, and hope it keeps you from making some of the same mistakes that either I, or my friends have made.

Besides my own personal experience, I'm also going to pull from the following books:

"He's Just Not that Into you" - Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

"Better Single Than Sorry" -  Jen Schefft

"Become Your Own Matchmaker" - Patti Stanger

"Love Smart" - Dr. Phil McGraw

"Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" - Steve Harvey

Wow, I've read a lot of relationship books, haven't I? And so the question begs to be answered. If I'm following all these rules, then why aren't I in some perfect relationship with the perfect guy? Well, the truth is, I have learned a lot from these books, and am living by these rules and even though I am not in the perfect relationship, I'm also not in an imperfect relationship, crying and losing sleep over some guy. Rather than snagging me the perfect guy, these books saved me from countless heartbreaks with deadbeat guys.

The reason I'm single isn't because listening to the rules that I learned in these books and learned from real life didn't work. The reason I'm single is because I've learned I'm better than settling, and I just haven't met the right guy for me yet. Plain and simple.

However, when I do meet that perfect guy, I know I'll be armed with all the right tools. In the meantime, I can rest assured knowing I haven't made tons of mistakes with guys that just weren't into me, waste time with guys that weren't serious potential, sleep with guys hoping that would make them like me and end up regretting another number on my bedpost, or worse, a potential STD, or settle for a guy that didn't have his life together or treat me the way I know I deserve to be treated. While I don't have a ring on my finger just yet, I do not have the drama and the heartbreak that so many of my friends have. The trying to force guys to like me, the wasting months, years, with guys that will never propose. The dating of emotionally unavailable men, all in the name of "well, it's better than being single" or "maybe he'll change" or "how do I know I'll find someone else" or even worse "he's the best I'll ever find."

You have to know and believe you will find someone better, someone that treats you right, someone that respects you. But he won't find you if you're dating some loser, just so you don't have to be alone on a Friday night.

So, here begins my adventures in dating...

1 comment:

RAP said...

You have read a lot of books. I can't wait to hear all the advice and stories. My dad bought me this stupid dating book like forever ago but I just claimed I read it and gave it back to him... It was by Dr Laura and I can't remember the name now. Was the one by Jen Schefft good? Isn't she the bacholar girl?