- Mae West
This morning, I did not feel so hot. I wasn’t able to wake up early to get to the gym this morning, which only set the day off on the wrong foot. So, what did I do last night that made me unable to get up this morning? If you guessed I had a wild, drunken debacle, you’d be….WRONG! Unfortunately it’s nowhere near that glamorous or face saving.
Last night for dinner, I had a huge blue burger with fries and three glasses of wine. Ok, already, my stomach is turning, is yours? When I got home, I needed to make the sangria and chop up some veggies for book club. While I’m doing this, I remember I have a brie wheel in my fridgerator – for book club tomorrow. As I’m chopping up veggies and fruit, I hear the cheese wheel calling me. At first, it was just a tempting whisper, but those whispers got louder and louder and eventually the fridge was all but opening up the door and throwing the cheese in my direction! So, did I do the smart thing and resist temptation? Go to bed? No! I ate the cheese! And then I ate some more! And more, just a nibble here, and another nibble there, and next thing I know, I ate the entire brie wheel! Yes! I ate an entire brie wheel in one sitting, after I had already gorged on a cheeseburger, fries and alcohol. I wish I could blame it on being drunk, but the truth of the matter was I was only buzzing (I guess all the food soaked it up pretty well).
This morning around 1 am, I woke up feeling miserable and really hot. I had an honest to goodness tummyache. Like an 8 year old after Halloween. I lay there in my bed moaning and rubbing my tummy. I decided there was no way I’d be able to make it to the gym, although, honestly, it would have been the best thing to work off the brick of cheese in my stomach, so I changed the alarm from 5 am to 7 am. It seems as though I was rewarding my bad behavior by allowing myself to sleep an extra two hours. But then again, wasn’t the stomach ache punishment enough? Or was it just what I deserved?
I still feel a little bloated and narsty this morning, but I’m on a mission to turn the day around. I have book club, and I’ll just have to have the veggies, no cheese. Besides I already ate enough for a month’s worth of book clubs, this will be my punishment.
And I sit here wondering why I can’t lose those last 20 lbs! Hope I enjoy the brie as much when I’m dying alone because no one wanted to marry my fat ass!