Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Grinch that Stole Christmas and the Santa Claus that Brought it Back

Read here for this month’s blogging topic.

As yesterday was the first, I’m going to start off with my Grinch. Yesterday, it was the Sexual Deviant from the gym. You can read the background information here. Yesterday, he had a new move! And it was the grossest I’ve ever seen! He started off in sort of a downward dog yoga move and proceeded to gyrate towards the ground, thrusting his pelvic into the ground, then tilting it forward, arching his back and coming back to starting position.

I will let this sink in for a little bit.

Yes, it was disgusting! DISGUSTING! And of course, everything he does is now magnified 100 x because he’s such a sick mother effer. I just don’t get why he insists on doing this in the middle of the gym room. Please, for the love of social normalcy, please go into a side room, or in the back corner, or somewhere where you aren’t in direct vision of every person in the gym, no matter what they are doing. The worst part was, his shorts started to rise up showing his thin upper thighs, which of course were ten shades whiter than his lower legs. Ugh, I’m throwing up a bit in my mouth thinking about him.

I wish I had some sort of clever transition, but I don’t.

Today’s Santa is my book club group as we have a meeting today. Even though we're pretty small and have failed to actively recruit any new members, we have a great time, and I am always impressed by our intellectual conversation. Last month, we solved the mystery of "The Turn of the Screw." Yes! We are that smart! Anyways, anytime I'm with these girls, I get in a good mood and have a great time, so today they are dubbed as the first Santas!

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